Last night I was dreaming about an old client I no longer have. In the dream I was sitting across a very male decorated lawyer's desk facing the lawyer's secretary. Apparently, the lawyer had died recently and I was needed to complete some paperwork. In so doing I had an epiphany and I left the desk for a moment to check my hypothesis. Upon returning only moments later I was met with scorn. As an INTJ I found myself bewildered at the cold response when I returned.
Apparently, it is poor manners to test an hypothesis while interacting with someone else. It wasn't until I had cleared my train of thought and dedicated a few seconds to analyzing possible solutions to her reaction did I see a weak correlation between my action and her bewilderment and eventual anger.
Here is the part that worries me. I know that if I find myself in such a place again I will be blind sided and step into the same trap. Dream, this time, it was. However, I know I have provoked such responses in real interactions from people. I always felt at a loss as to why some people grew so hostile toward me.
I find so little satisfaction from being with others. I feel compelled to help others even though I find myself mostly met with indifference or hostility. One of my many sons is an ENFJ. He is always met with warmth and admiration from others. I have found it bewildering as he contributes little to actual measurable effort on their behalf. Even now my mind is contemplating the potential of others to interpret my words into hostile or less then fatherly ambitions. I am very pleased at my sons abilities... I just don't understand their nuance as I find people like wounded animals lashing out at their caregiver.
There are times I wish I had a different personality type. I get tired of being scratched and bitten or ignored for finding solutions. Yesterday, I agreed to talk to a preparedness group about computer safety and security. I took my ENTJ son with me as he can communicate with people more effectively then I can. By the end of the meeting the group seemed more comfortable addressing my son then me. Here again I am amazed at how fluid and honest he was without offending people. He was talking over their heads and yet he was more acceptable then I was.
I was informed of a new saying in the last few days "If you want to serve you must learn to sell and market". It seems that all business and service not only revolves around but are "marketing". I personally don't see this clearly. I don't buy things from advertising and marketing. I find such efforts wasted money and TV programming time. As I have need, I research solutions. A lot of times the solutions I find are contrary to popular belief. I don't trust doctors, engineers, politicians, bankers, or lawyers at face value without proof. A degree is not proof. Tangible results are proof only to a point. Sometimes short term results don't manifest a greater problem caused by a solution immediately. The use of fluoride in toothpaste falls into this group as fluoride causes brittle bones and teeth. But in the first six month period of exposure it kills bacteria in the mouth slowing tooth decay just to cause bone and tooth failure later.
One of the biggest lies out there now is "genetic disease". How is this a lie? I can cause or expound upon a mineral deficiency in the soil and cause a disease. For instance, make food plants that can metabolize manganese even in the presents of glyphosate. Now glyphosate binds to manganese rendering it inert so if you eat food (these plants) you will have a manganese deficiency which causes respiratory problems like asthma and allergies to bone and joint failure. The lie is that asthma and allergies are considered derived from a genetic disposition. So, doctors need not cure them. Bad food equates to bad health and an academic paycheck to a doctor and pharmacist. Planned obsolescence made medical.
As a result, I have to find a nice way of telling people how to fix themselves for my sanity is what it comes down to.
