As an INTJ I like being listened to and learning from others. However, I've been all but defeated by my challenges and thought of by others as mostly mild amusement. Today I feel exceptionally superficial. There is nothing like being alone insomuch company.
People ignore me because I don't see anything with the same rosy grasses everyone else uses. In fact, I know that no one will read this blog. I am positive. It is one thing to climb a mountain with proper gear it is a lot slower with no gear. I feel stupid, cheated, and tired.
My liver is sore and inflamed. My skin is turning yellow. My joints ache and my muscles are weak. I had moments today that it was hard to balance as the gravity of the world switched directions.
A close relative was concerned about my priesthood status and started prying. I talked offhandedly to the bishop about it and now the air is strong with lessons about conspiring to seek office in the priesthood. As if I was stupid again and didn't know any better.
I am having a hard time with the ward members. They teach on for example the "Word of Wisdom" and skip over the grammar associated with semicolons. I asked if the semicolons were added by someone other then the Prophet and was told no. So, why are the semicolons overlooked as far as interpreting the scripture?
Others read it as we are to be all but vegetarians yet, if you read it clause to clause and transfer the significant emphasis as dependent clauses need on the subject pronoun of the independent clauses (as per the proper grammar usage of the semicolons), the scripture sounds exactly backwards of the official interpretation of the meaning.
Interpreting it so, we are not to eat GMO crops or take allopathic medicine. We need to know our herbs, vegetables, and fruits as they are more powerful then drugs. They also contain minerals, vitamins, antioxidants, enzymes, and many other beneficial compounds. We need to eat meat in digestible amounts. Full of fat and protein to rebuild and protect our cell integrity, meat is a must. We need to be careful with sugars and starches from grains. Sugars feed bad fungi in our bodies by killing our intestinal flora. Carbohydrates in general fill fat cells with excessive weight when eaten in over abundance and switches the bodies metabolism from burning fat to burning sugar. Our bodies are designed to run on low blood sugar. burn moderate carbohydrate intakes quickly and store gross carbohydrate intakes as fat.
So, my understanding of reading the same things others read makes me sound like a fool. So, I sit on my hands or answer some generic canned Sunday school answer in my Sunday meetings... like I should, to get some little morsel of acceptance.
The wife and I start a new job tomorrow. The paychecks can be twice what we made last year every month. If and when the opportunity works, we will never be strapped for cash again. We will most likely over run our siblings earning potential inside of 2 years. It won't feel much different being excluded for being to rich as it was being to poor. Mostly, we will hide our fortune in more businesses and enterprises. Our siblings and parents will not know unless we invite them to the house for a holiday. Even then we will not disclose much over we are borrowing a house for the party.
Being nobody isn't so bad.
